Love at First Sight… or Lust at First Sight?
Posted by Khiem in: Articles, First Impressions

I was introduced to her.  Ironically, I was introduced to her by the girl who invited me out and with whom I was flirting with the week before.

At first, I didn’t know she was part of the group.  She was cute.  She was walking with a shorter lightly pudgy Asian guy I didn’t know either.  Her smile was the first thing that caught my attention.

Her smile was the kind of smile that whispered to me:  “Well hello there!…”

It was the kind of smile that made me want to make a mental double take, but I couldn’t… at least not yet.  I needed to focus on the girl who actually invited me out and who just walked up to me with a hug.

I acted cool, I acted “normal.”  Throughout the evening, I mostly entertained “Alya,” the girl I flirted with last week.  The evening kind of felt like a double date.  “Alya” was walking with me… and the other girl was walking with the pudgy Asian guy.  I still didn’t know if she was with him or not.

However, I would find my eyes furtively look for her.  From the corner of my eyes, I’d catch her looking back at me or maybe it was her catching me look at her.  There was that unspoken smile again.

Maybe it wasn’t even her smile, maybe it was her eyes.  There was a glimmer in her eyes that seemed to want to blurt out more than just hi.

We talked a few times to one another, never alone, always in group, occasionally joking around, teasing…

She had an allure to her…. a certain sweet, genuine, innocent vibe mixed with something utterly contradictory, a darker, sexier and much more confident energy.

I would be lying if I didn’t say I noticed the contour of her soft round chest filling her deep V-neck shirt with smooth curves that would make my mind wander in territories not so holy and leading my eyes down towards her short jeans skirt.

I like the way she walked.  I liked the way she looked at me, talked to me, smiled at me…

At one point, she and I found each other by ourselves.  “Her” guy and “my” girl walked away together to get drinks.  It turned out “her” guy was just a friend from college and “my” girl was someone she just met a few days prior.  Ironically, I just met “Alya” the week before too.

She admitted to being adventurous… or maybe spontaneous, I’m not quite sure anymore… so I called her out on it:

I dare you to stand right there, under the screen projection, and dance in front of everyone!

We were at the Museum of Natural History for First Friday, near USC.  There was a screen projection on the wall of the live band playing.  A lot of people were gathered in semi-circle there in front of that screen, watching and singing along but not dancing.  I didn’t think she’d do it.  I was just teasing her.

Do you notice the projection screens?Do you guys notice the projection screens?

Fainting hesitation yet without skipping a beat, she fired back at me:

OK, but what do I get if I do it?

Do you know what it feels like when you are in the moment with someone, the tension is high and everything you’ve felt so far seems to culminate and all crash into one single “turning-point” moment?  That’s e-x-a-c-t-l-y how I felt.  My mind was running 200 miles an hour.  I haven’t thought that far ahead when I dared her to dance in front of everybody.

I wanted to say something clever or witty back but what was I going to say?  What could I give her?  What could I give her?  What could I give her?

I blurted out:

I’ll give you a kiss…

She smiled again… maybe bigger.  Oh my god… I couldn’t believe I told her I’d kiss her.  Here I was, out because “Alya” probably liked me and now telling another girl I’d kiss her… when I barely met her maybe 30 minutes to an hour ago.

Wait a second… what kind of kiss would I give her in the first place?  A cheek kiss, a lip peck, a french kiss?  My mind was still running at 200 miles an hour.  What was she hoping for anyway?

What if I did kiss her…

As if by an act of God, she never got to prove me her adventurous and spontaneous side on that very instant.  The museum suddenly turned off the screen projection because the live band ended their show.  The crowd scattered out.

“Alya” and the Asian guy came back to join us.

Without knowing how spontaneous girl truly felt about me, I already knew there was something special about her:  a spark, an attraction… a silent desire to be with her.  What was she about?  What was she really like?  I still didn’t know much about her… yet she had me intrigued.

I was drawn to her… and by something more than physical…

For the rest of the night, I still focused on chatting with “Alya.”  We went to dinner as a group but it was obvious to me and the other girl that my mind was reaching out for something else.

After dinner, “Alya” and the Asian guy decided to call it a night.  I lingered around and took my new found interest out around town.  The attraction was already there.  Random people in Hollywood were already complimenting us on being such a cute couple as we walked arm in arm.  Little did they know we just met few hours ago.

I didn’t kiss her until maybe 3-4 hours later from the moment I met her.  We kissed on the beach, under the Santa Monica Pier.  At first, I was nervous.  I don’t think she knew… but if felt so right.

Kiss on The Beach.  That's how we did it... plus clothes

She became my first real love.  We maintained an intensely passionate relationship for 10 months and I eventually did find out that she was indeed spontaneous and adventurous.  Unfortunately, the long distance finally took its toll on us.

Now, I don’t ask myself “what if I did kiss her” anymore but I sometimes ponder… “what if we actually had lived in the same city?”

At some point in the relationship, I asked her:

When did you know you were actually attracted to me?

She said:

The moment I saw you, I thought you were really cute.  I said to myself “‘Alya’ hasn’t mentioned anything about him before.  Ohhh, I sure hope he’s not with her.”  You also had that smile… that I could never tell what you were thinking about.


This post is a continuation of my “First Impressions” blog series (which started with this post).  A few weekends ago, I was discussing with a client how much easier it is to attract and go on dates if you learn to create positive first and lasting impressions.

As I finish this post, I realize maybe I should re-title this series as “Love at First Sight” but eventually, I think I’ll write stories where the first impressions didn’t turn into potential girlfriends or relationships.

Remember, it’s always easier to attract someone when you set the bar high for yourself rather than setting the bar low and working your way back up.  Everything you do, say or wear say something about you.  Whether you are conscious of it or not, you are constantly creating an impression on someone.

How are people perceiving you on first impression?

If you have a great “First Impression” or “Love at First Sight” story and want to share, hit me up with an email or post a comment!

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    Wait until you’re alone with her, somewhere ronitmac. My first kiss with my ex (just broke up today) boyfriend was underneath the stars it was so cute. Anyway wait until you’re alone and you’re both very calm. Look into her eyes and very slowly lean in slightly. If she wants to kiss you too, then she will also lean in. Then just kiss her very gently to start with and build it up.Hope I helpedGood luck!!

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